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LeBron James deploys kiosk, crude humor at the mall

LeBron James has gotten into the kiosk business.

Sheets Energy Strips, cofounded by “The King,” today announced the pilot rollout of automated vending kiosks selling Sheets and Sheets gear in “high-profile areas across the country, including malls, office buildings, stadiums and arenas in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut and Florida.”

Sheets Energy Strips are paper-thin, individually-wrapped, dissolvable pocket-sized strips that are placed on the tongue, begin to dissolve instantly and are easily swallowed and digested to deliver hours of energy, according to the company. The kiosks will sell four-packs, 10-packs and Sheets-branded hats and T-shirts.

The kiosk also educates consumers about Sheets via two plasma screens embedded in the machine that allow for messaging to change daily.

“We are always looking for unique ways to break through the clutter of traditional marketing campaigns,” said Warren Struhl, CEO of PureBrands LLC, the owner of Sheets Brand Energy Strips. “Sheets are all about convenience and simplicity. Sheets can fit into your wallet, pocket or purse. Automated kiosks are the perfect way for us to increase awareness of the brand and make it easier for anyone to Take a Sheet on-the-go.”

Unfortunately, as seen in the statement above and in today’s announcement, it doesn’t look like James’ marketing acumen has improved a great deal since sitting down for his ill-advised “The Decision” special on ESPN – the one in which he announced his departure from Cleveland so he could take his talents to South Beach.

Today’s press release started off, “Taking a Sheet at the mall just got easier,” because, of course, poop humor always burnishes a tarnished superstar’s image.

Maybe they’ll sell a dollar’s worth of Sheets for 75 cents, since LeBron usually takes off the fourth quarter.

For more information on custom kiosk deployments, visit our Custom Kiosk research center.